Is Forgiving Hard for You?

You are the bravest of souls

“Speak gently, speak kindly to those who falter. Ye know not THEIR own temptation, nor the littleness of their understanding. Judge not as to this or that activity of another; rather pray that the light may shine even in THEIR lives as it HAS in thine.” – Edgar Cayce

I once had a neighbor move in next to me, and he immediately started complaining about the property line. Apparently, he had done a survey when he bought his house, and some of my landscaping was encroaching on his property.

One day he knocked on my door and told me without much fanfare that I needed to move my granite landscaped steps off of his property. As it turned out, they were infringing on his property line by about 8 inches. I was not happy. Surely, he had to be joking? But no, he assured me he was not.

These large, beautiful granite steps had been there for about 10 years, and none of the previous neighbors had said a word. But this new neighbor was adamant. We argued. Tempers flared. Lawsuits were threatened. Counter-lawsuits were promised. The whole event was stressful and upsetting.

Eventually, I moved the steps which was not easy. I had two different contractors attempt the job, before finally my brother and I did the job ourselves. It took two days of backbreaking work—not to mention hauling away some of the granite.

I tell this story not to illustrate the wonders of karma—although I could go in that direction. Eventually, my neighbor’s actions will have consequences that will aid in his soul’s learning.  However, I tell this story to talk about forgiveness. Specifically, my forgiveness of him.  I was angry and upset with my neighbor, and we were no longer speaking with each other. And I was losing sleep about the incident, even after I had moved the steps.

I knew I needed to forgive him. And this was difficult. It seems like it’s always difficult.

Forgiveness is high form of acceptance, and acceptance is one of the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven within. Acceptance is a prerequisite for consciously connecting to the Universe. I knew that I must let go of the mental baggage that was swirling in my head in order to have some chance of consciously connecting to Source.

I decided to take this forgiveness business to my morning meditation practice. Perhaps it would have been better to forgive him in person; however, I believe that my intentions could have been misconstrued by him, and that we would have been back to arguing. So, I decided to pray on this during the second half of my meditation.

I started by saying out loud, “I forgive you,” envisioning my neighbor at the time. I did not believe a word of what I was saying! It’s ok, I thought, words have power and I will speak this intention aloud. “I forgive you,” I said again. Nothing. I said the words, but I could not conjure up the feelings to go with them. This went on for several mornings.

I’m not sure where this realization came from, but one day I was hit with it, full force. I realized that my neighbor’s soul had chosen to come to Earth—just like my soul had chosen. I realized that his soul was doing the best that it could—just like I was. His soul was making mistakes. My soul was making mistakes.

All souls who choose this Earth school are the bravest of souls!

And all souls who come to Earth are destined to face many challenges and make many mistakes. This is part of the learning process. This is how your soul develops. This Earth school is an intense experience generator. Your soul is an experience integrator.

When seen from a soul’s perspective, I realized that my neighbor was doing the best he could given all of his many life challenges. And I was doing the best I could given my karma and life challenges. We are all spiritual warriors making our way on this place called Earth.

When I viewed my neighbor from a soul perspective, I realized I could forgive him. Just like I can forgive myself for making the many, many mistakes I’ve made throughout my life.

One of the primary lessons we are here to learn is the lesson of unconditional love. This is not just an intellectual exercise. We learn best through intense experiences. Forgiveness is also a form of unconditional love. You may have been wronged. You may clearly be right. However, unconditional love is always the answer to the question, “How should I respond to this situation?”

With this realization in place, I did forgive my neighbor. You would think that I need not wrestle with forgiveness again after having this realization. You would be wrong.

Forgiveness requires vigilance. Forgiveness requires vulnerability. Forgiveness requires a conscious connection to the Universe.

You are the bravest of souls! You chose this life to learn lessons from experiences. Be grateful for your experiences. Be grateful for your opportunities to forgive.

Always let your light shine!

Sean